Betty and Rusty's smells of the old-style USA. From the beat up caravans to the long, thin and sharp cacti, the whole thing is genuine John Wayne (without the Hollywood factor). Betty married Rusty a long while back, and she was a third of his age and most certainly not his first wife when it happened. They have an interesting collection of stories and a very forward attitude to talking about 'personal things' considering they are surrounded by 20-something year olds and are both (well) over 50 (Rusty is nearer 80).

We arrived and were quickly assigned to horses for a late evening horse trek through the desert. I have never had any desire to ride horses, however if there had been any opportunity in my life where I would have wanted to have started it was here. And so I was acquainted with Mitsy. I don't know what you can say about a horse, but Mitsy was a good horse and tended to life to walk of her (?) own accord. Apart from this tendency to wander, I enjoyed the ride a great deal and will definitely try it again sometime in the future.

Half way through the ride we stopped for a bathe in a nearby lake. Extremely warm it was very refreshing but also bearable and after our short break, dried off and headed back to the camp where Betty, Rusty and nephew Joel sang cowboy songs while we scoffed down a shoulder of beef, cowboy style.

Rusty certainly had some funny stories and funny opinions. We were all enlightened to hear how he defended himself in one court by explaining that he had stolen a rope and the horse had been attached to it. The laughter and commotion that this had caused meant the judge had to adjourn the hearing an it was never recommenced. Also his views that he could get a new doll in the blink of an eye if he wanted, his games of body-shots with previous trek groups and his one liners on how the grand canyon was formed (Betty dropped a nickel) or how he'd had running water all his life - 'she just had to run and get it'.

We drank the night away until we ran out of alcohol, except for Kristie and James who polished off a bottle of vodka between themselves and clearly had much to show for it. I had the honour of sleeping next to them and the conversation was more than interesting. Pete managed to scare the crap out of the two drunkards with his cow skull/wild donkey routine, and all in all we had a fantastic night finding out about each other. James and my drinking game compendium certainly was appreciated and led to many a revelation.

The next morning a number of us went off in search of the showers (at a local redneck campsite) and James received the final instalment of his haircut which had been started in the pitch black of the night before. After all this was done we set off on the final leg of the tour - the road to LA. A number of hours later (in the evening) we arrived in Beverley Hills.CA. All the major 'drives' had to be experienced and so Joe took us on a roadtrip including Rodeo Drive, Bel Air, the walk of fame, the Chinese Theatre, the Kodak Theatre and finally the Hollywood hills/sign. This was the end of the tour officially. We drove to our hotel and then went our own ways. James and I stayed in the end hotel (the Haceyenda) along with Joe, John and Laura, so we met up for a bot to eat at a nearby cafe with Ellie and Kerry for a final time before properly parting.

The next morning James and I decided to see what available routes were obtainable using free hotel shuttle connections, but after reaching the airport (LAX baby) decided we had been outwitted. Instead we went to the Air Canada desk and asked if we could have our flights brought a day forward as LA really was rapidly losing all sense of appeal. They obliged, and at no extra cost we arranged for our Toronto flight to be moved, much to our pleasure. Afterwards we headed back to the hotel and got in touch with Pete and Kristie who were still in the area and whom had hired a car. The text we received was to pack our beach stuff and met them outside the hotel at 2.30pm, which we did and took the long cruise to Santa Monica. Considering LA is one city it is absolutely sprawling, and it took a good 45 minutes to cross to the coast (in very easy traffic).

Santa Monica is not a beach with highly sung praises (apart from by Sheryl Crow) as Venice is the preferred tourist destination, but us pasty white Brits love nothing more than a bit of cold water and sand to indulge our wildest passions of being somewhere vaguely tepid and polluted with just a pair of swim shorts on. So while tyhe Aussies moaned about the lack of good waves and the coolness of the sea, James and I indulged in the lukewarm millpond. A couple of hours forward and we decided it was probably advisable to inform my Canadian relatives of the change of flight plans, so dried off, took a short walk up and down the beach, went to the Apple store, browsed the farmers market, then phoned to to tell them of the 24hr change in plan. See you in 12 hours type of thing.

Pete dropped us off back at the hotel and we said our goodbyes. We really hope to meet with out Australian friends again in the next few months, and so we said farewell and left them to go off to discover the delights of Disneyland. The next morning required a breakfast then speedy departure to the airport where we finally caught our flight to Toronto. Disappointingly I didn't strike up a conversation with the woman sitting net to me, that is until she offered me a SpongeBob Squarepants carrot, when I discovered that although on the first day of her new job, she was in fact the personal assistant to the Vice President of Promotions at Disney and there to promote their three new films at the Toronto film festival - ShopGirl (Steve Martin, Clare Danes), Flightplan (Jodie Foster) and The Greatest Game In The World (Which neither of us had any idea about what it was about, except she had to read up on it as she was meant to be selling it to the critics). Too late to ask for a ticket.

Ata the airport we were greeted by Auntie Kiki and Uncle Garry. We were whisked back to the house where we soon bedded down for the night. Next morning we got up and went for a swim. Today was to be our 'chillax' day and so we strolled down to the local mall for a Timmy's and to get our photos burnt onto CD. On arriving back a couple of hours later we met up with my cousin Matthew, wife Krissy and newest addition to the family Joel, age nearly two years. Unfortunately Joel was a little shy (apparently something which only started in the past couple of weeks) but at least it gave me my first chance to see my cousin-once-removed. After more swimming, Alex and Matthew took us to the Kings Arms (authentic British pub, cough cough) for some food and a drink. It was here I rediscovered Keith's, which is a drink we haven't had in over two years, but still remains a favourite of mine. A large portion of food later and we headed back to Lakeshore.

Another morning and this time we had a day in Toronto. Auntie Kiki dropped us at the GO station and we caught the slow moving train into Union Station. We had planned to meet with Alex for lunch, but despite out contact attempts this never happened, and instead James and I grabbed Subway for lunch then headed to the cinema for some post-dinner entertainment.

Despite some initial confusion (James had forgot to adjust his watch and we turned up to watch the 40 Year Old Virgin three hours ahead of schedule) we swapped our tickets and got to see Batman Begins on the IMAX screen. For me the best movies on IMAX are the action ones, and despite not being a comic fan in the slightest, this really was a good film and best watched this way. Little did we know that 24hrs after the end of that one we would be back in another IMAX thatre watching another film, this time Charlie and the Choclate Factory.

Back home we had a pork roast (rudely interrupting my dosage of Season 3, the OC) before showing off our vast photo collection and heading to bed. And that finally brings me up-to-date, or at least, up to today.

Today was another late-ish rise and was spent down at Woodbine, the famous racetrack about 40 minutes from Oakville. The last time I was there was probably 6 or 7 years ago, but I remember it clearly as it is the first and last racetrack I have ever been too, let alone the first or last I Have ever made a bet at. I came away about fifteen bucks down, but Uncle Garry made a killing on the slots, taking 700 at his best, and walking away with 500 bucks at the end. I was amused by our attempt to order food at the track when Uncle Garry asked for 'three meals' to be presented with a bill for about five bucks. All was soon revealed when the oriental cashier presented us with three cartons of milk and we had to explain that 'meal' and 'milk' are not the same thing, and although we appreciated the calcium, we'd rather have three hamburgers and fries.

We arrived home in time to meet Sue, Alex's new girlfriend, and then headed out to catch the second film of the holiday. After this entertainment we called at a house to meet up for a sly beer with some of Alex's friends (Stacey, Dutch, Chad - not present, Laura (?)) before going to Shoeless Joe's to pick up a evening meal and the rules of NFL/CFL. All in all a good night, and a couple more Canadian beers sampled.

Wow. That took a while. Hopefully next entry I won't have to catch up on so much - considering that these last three instalments have only just scratched the surface of what went on in the USA this summer... Will speak soon.

Comments (2)

Although I left the last entry hanging at 8pm (Canadian Time), it wasn't until 10pm that James, Alex, Matthew and myself actually left for food. However this left a significant gap in the adventures of me and my sidekick James, so here is the next part of the chronicle:

We spent the night cruising the Strip, and after our investigations, we headed back to the Golden Palm. By this time the heat was nice, although the walk home was fairly long - part of me wished the pool was still open (we had had a social gathering there earlier before we went out) but being closed we simply got back and went to sleep.

The next day we were allowed to 'lie in' although we made an appearance down pool-side at about 11am where we met with some of the others and made arrangements to meet for a shopping trip to a nearby mall. At the mall we grabbed a sub and then visited as many surf clothing shops a possible (a number of purchases were made) before making moves to go back the hotel. James, Pete & Charley (who by now were getting pretty friendly) and myself walked back onto the strip checking some more venues before eventually meeting everyone in the eyeing outside the fountains at Bellagio and watching two fantastic water shows.

As we all were hungry now we decided to go and get a buffet dinner as recommended by Joe. Despite what we initially thought, this type of dining isn't that cheap - no matter how far you walk, and we settled for some exclusive but overflowing meal at the Flamingo in true Vegas pomp. Was mightily impressed/filled.

After the last of the dessert was polished off we split again and spent the next few hours mopping up the sights and attractions, including the free shows down the unexplored part of the strip. We got up as far as Treasure Island, but were so bitterly disappointed that the 'Sirens of TI' show had been cancelled due to 'high winds' (a mere Zephyr) we headed back along the strip and saw the last of the big casinos with plenty of photo opportunities. Major attractions of the night included

• Caesar's Palace (why a dog that small needs such a big palace I don't know)
• The Mirage and the volcano
• The Luxor and it's 'inclinator'
• The Excalibur
• The Hard Rock Cafe & Hotel
• The Bellagio Fountains by night

The next morning we moved on once more (yet another early start) and I was able to reflect on my time in Vegas. Although initially unsure of what I would make of the place I was pleasantly surprised and will one day visit again (this time when I can bet myself). The place is not tacky. Tacky is when you attempt to do something pretty grand or glitzy on a budget and screw it up, Vegas may well be bright, neon and glitter-coated, but it has been done at expense. This sort of grandeur is open to the masses and I cannot think of another example since Roman times, where so much money has been spent on impressing the general population who can freely roam as they like.

Our next stop was the Grand Canyon. As predicted by Joe, we ended up getting caught in the micro-climate that surrounds this great natural monument, and were drenched on occasion. Our first stop after setting up camp was the heliport where we took 35 minute flights over the area, and it was truly stunning. The canyon has to be seen to be believed, and even then it was hard to grasp the size of the thing. Later that night Joe took us to a viewing point for photos, and after we had food at camp (utilising the cabbage I bought in the coleslaw; turns out that I can't tell the difference between a lettuce and a cabbage) before retiring.

The next day would be our earliest rise - 4.30am for sunrise over the canyon and a 2 hour hike. There is a rule of thumb that it takes twice as long to come up as go down, so when we darted back up faster than we had descended Joe was more than surprised, but I think the motivation had mainly been in the thick red mud and puddles that had occurred we got caught in a rain storm at the bottom of our descent which prompted our fast return.

We dried out in the canyon shop and warmed ourselves with soup. More travelling today meant it was back in the bus to travel to our next Arizona-based destination, Betty and Rusty's out in the desert, about70 miles outside Phoenix.

Once again, I am going to terminate this blog entry for a while as something more important has arisen - season 3 of the OC starts here in about 5 minutes and I'm not missing it for the world... (how sad).

Comments (0)

Summing up the events of this past week in one blog entry is going to be quite a challenge.I have managed to get near computers during this time, but it was either inconvenient, ridiculously expensive or slightly cheeky to access the internet, so hence the delay in blog entries.

I will tackle as much as I can remember in chronological order, but then will probably will throw in nuggets of things that I forgot and since came to mind as I work my way through this text as otherwise I'm going to be back tracking and editing for hours.

On our last night in San Francisco we moved back into The Commodore hotel on Sutter. Our trek was to leave from there the next morning, so to minimise on early morning transportation we decided to relocate from the hostel (which we had enjoyed a lot).

Food was once again Subway (Aren't we predictable) while watching The Transporter on the room TV. The next day was an early rise, a meet-up in the lobby and some introductions s we filled out paperwork for our tour in the lobby.

Our tour guide was a guy called Joe - Californian bord and bred and clearly a big fan of his job. There were mostly Brits (11) and two Ozzies, who we ended up becoming really good friends with. On the initial van ride (we were heading out to Yosemite) I sat next to two Welsh girls, Ellie and Kerry. It later transpired that Ellie worked for BHFNC (My client) and therefore knows Broomy, while also being the girlfriend of James' ex-housemate's brother. Small world.

We stopped for shopping, then lunch (staple sandwiches which were to become lunch every day) at a covered bridge. By this stagewe were getting to know people a bit better and by the time we had set up camp on the outskirts of the National Park we all knew each other at least by sight. Joe took us to explore the giant Secoya trees (the biggest living organisms on the planet) which provided time to get to know each other, including walking under and scrambling through some particularly old logs. The latter experience was very funny, and nobody escaped without a good thick layer of dust and dirt. Some great photos were taken.

At camp we played card games while food was cooked by the designated team. Toothpaste was evacuated from the tents as apparently bear attacks are regular and they have a particular penchant for Colgate.

The next day was yet another earliy rise and was the first indication that a pattern was emerging here. I slept really well (considering it was camping) and we made tracks up through the park. Enroute we saw elk, some very fats squirrels and some odd blue headed birds too.The vistas were stunning - truly beautiful almost untouched scenery. James and I concur that we would never have seen all this had we chosen to visit the park ourselves, and is one of the many reasons we have changed our preco0nceptions about travelling the world by tour.

After a good number of hours trekking up and back down, Joe took us to a secluded part of the park river where we screamed bathed in icy cold water. There is some good video footage of this but I haven't got the ability to attach it to the blog until I get home. Unfortunately I managed to damage my toe, and later I discovered the entire side of my foot had been shredded apart by the sharp shale I had heavily landed on in my first cannonball, but it's all clearing up now, and thankfully I escaped any pain.

That evening we ate philly steak at a park restaurant before heading back to camp via some impressive rocks including the famed El Captain rockface. Once again I slept well.

Another early rise and packing up tents meant we were back on the road. This time we were heading to a different type of destination; Las Vegas. The place really is as hot as it is made out to be, but all the same one of the most fantastic places I have ever visited. The glitz, neon lined streets and strange desert existence makes for a place that has to be experienced to be believed. Joe had totally talked down the rooms and the experience, and we stayed at the Golden Palm just off the strip. Undersell would be an exaggeration, as the rooms were the biggest we had been since since we had arrived in the states, and the location was prime, although we were only paying ten bucks per twin queen-size per night. I've never seen that kind of deal before.

We stuffed ourselves with pizza before, which unfortunately led to me bing sick (there may have been other factors like the water/atmosphere, but I am unsure and so have blamed it on over-indulgence), but it didn't stop me enjoying our first night out in the place, and we headed out to the hotel car park to be greeted by our 'ride'.

We had been promised a limo drive down the strip, but once again under-sold we arrived to find a gleaming black stretched Hummer and champagne. Awesome. I will never forget the ride. The driver had some bad-boy tunes on the system and we watched music videos on the monitors while we waited for the lights to change. It took one hour to travel the length of the Strip and back, and gave a really good opportunity to get our bearings. The drive was punctuated by stops at various points including a display the longest screen in the world, a 200 metre overhead video display to some classic Vegas music.

Many photos later we say in a bar at the MGM Grand, which is the worlds largest hotel casino. Joe had chosen the place as he knew we were less likely to get 'Carded' (ID'd) and we sat and drank some very expensive drinks. It was at this point we split and headed into the Casino.

Our Australian buddy Pete managed to do quite well for himself and actually came away with more money that he went with. Joe didn't carry such luck, but we all had a superb night, strolling down past and into the casinos including NewYork, New York, The Bellagio and The Monte Carlo.

I've realised we're going out for food. This story is to be continued...

Comments (1)

Just to let you know we are living it up Vegas style! Its only something bloody ridiculous like 43 degrees but its fantastic and Vegas is as glitzy as it's made out to be.

I will write more thoroughly about what we've been up to when I find a cheaper internet cafe, but a quick roundup of events include hiking in Yosemite National Park and going on a stretched Hummer down the strip, bubbly and all. Awesome.

Stand by for more....

Comments (2)

This morning was difficult. James and I woke almost simultaneously this morning after a very good night's sleep, most definitely helped by the alcohol consumption of last night. The alcohol also assisted one other thing which was our hangovers. Basically Caz and Caroline (our 'roomies') offered to get us our beers (due to certain silly restrictions here we can't get a drink) and despite only buying three to start with (a chilled Saturday night) we all ended up getting hammered.

We headed over to the other USA hostel on Sutter and met up with a load of people in the basement including Ben & Neil (Doncaster), Debbie (High Wycombe), Neil (only bloody Carricktoole - just up the road from Ballycotton in Cork), Paul (Edgbaston) and Tim (Australia). Despite being in San Fran, we havn't actually done any socialising with Americans.

It was a good laugh, the 'Hawaiian Punch' was flowing and there was some drinking games and fussball going on too until the early hours. A good night.

So this morning we gathered up our stuff, left a note for the girls and headed back over to the Commodore (where we are staying for a second night) after some breakfast. James once again managed to make his pancake look like roadkill, but it filled a gap and the coffee helped clear our head. We bumped into a scouse couple as we washed up who were friendly and gave some advice about Vegas and the Strip. There had been a large amount of destination-info swapping last night, although that is fairly hard to recall.

Another cable car ride from the main terminal and we arrived at Pier 41 just in time to catch the ferry to Alcatraz. I was having trouble focusing (not entirely sure why) so we got a hotdog and some liquids inside and by the time we got to the island I was fine.

Alcatraz is a fantastically brooding monstrosity and the audio tour is very comprehensive. The main highlights included Al Capone's cell although one of my personal favourites was the exhibition called Prisoners of Age exhibit which consisted of about 30 or so large (well designed) banners with some stunning portrait photos of convicted murderers, traffickers and kidnappers with personal accounts of the incidents. A five or six year kid next to me read one of them out loud "Sex Crimes" and turned to his mum asking what "Sex" is? Amusing.

The island was fascinating and I took quite a good number of photos. When we finished we headed back to the dock and picked up shrimp and chips for food. On the way back there was a visit to the cable car museum which had the added surprise of being the cable house as well so we watched endless loops of cable being recycled around the city.

Tomorrow we are off to Yosemite and the likes. Organised travelling here we come...

Comments (2)

We got two new room mates last night - two (hot) girls from south London. We don't know too much about them as we had already gone to bed before they arrived. James slept badly, but I was ok. By the time we got up everyone else had gone, but it was still only 8am (ish).

We decided to do a foot tour today through Chinatown. Lack of take-up had meant there was no guided tour, but we set off and managed a good few miles more on yesterday. That isn't to say my legs weren't killing me after the shock to my muscles yesterday, but it gave us to get a better idea of the city. We dad as the Americans do and took coffee on the payment in little Italy - James became part of some passing tour making conversation with the thirty or so tourists peering through the window of our coffee shop. After we headed up the hill to the Coit Tower which is a white by Lord of the Rings-esque structure at the highest point in the city. Good views was followed by a scenic descent back down the steep face of the rock through some fantastically well groomed gardens and into the North Beach area.

Absolutely craving food by this point we went to Pier 39 and grabbed burgers at a little cafe. By this time we were feeling fairly well-exercised but carried on along the sea front via some old maritime sights - steam boats/ferries/WW2 Submarines and the like, finalised with a visit to the free maritime museum.

After all this we just sat overlooking the bay and sunned ourselves until we'd had enough and headed back to the tram stop. Despite thinking an early get-away would be beneficial by avoiding the queue we had encountered yesterday we were bitterly disappointed to find the queue was twice as long. I was even more bitterly disappointed to be heckled by what happened to be a friendly stall keeper as I walked past "Hey, young lady, young lady... young man!" . Turns out that my bag was open and he was just being nice (we were ignoring him to start with as we thought he was trying to flog something). Anyway, being compared to a girl amused James a lot, but I found rather annoying.

As we waited in the queue today we listened in part to a blues sax player and in part to a group of US girls exchanging in a traditional American "Oh my God!" conversation.

About two hours later we finally got aboard a tram and even this journey was disturbed by filming of something or other and the cameramen got the tram to go back and forth for a few minutes to get the right of of us all waving and pulling faces through the windows.

Once past Union Square we got off and took a little walk along one of the bigger streets. America is a vibrant country and we were pleased to find some traditional violence kick off right next to us as we walked the street. Aluminium fold away chairs flew, trestle tables were hurled through the air and blows were exchanged in a plume of chess pieces as two old guys who had previously been engaged in a roadside chess game engaged themselves in full scale pavement war. Awesome. It provided much entertainment for the passers by and I never expected to see such a full on confrontation over a game of chess. As we walked back past the scene five minutes later they (and their possies) were clearing up the debris of the fallout.

Back in the hostel now we are going to grab some food in a minute. Think it's going to be a themed 50s diner around the corner. We are both dying for an elusive beer.

Comments (0)

Probably using a nickname which the locals totally disapprove of, James and I have arrived in San Francisco. It's been pretty cool so far, jet lag hasn't quite set in and our flight was OK as they didn't decide to plant any screaming kids near us.

Our taxi from the airport was driving by Ray, who reminded me of Ray Charles, which really as comparisons go, he shouldn't be driving anything. We arrived late afternoon at the Commodore where our tour will leave on Monday. They couldn't supply us with a room on Sunday so we stayed our first night and will be staying Sunday night there but we are now residing in a usahostel around the corner. We are sharing with two Germans whom we haven't met yet, but that adds to the excitement.

We thought an early start would be good and got ourselves down to Union Square by about 8am. We caught one of those famous street trams down to Fisherman's Wharf and booked our boat trip to Alcatraz for Sunday as all the tickets for today had gone (we were told if we got there early enough we could get one of the unreserved tickets). Once this was done we grabbed breakfast at some cheap cafe - a heavily grease impregnated burrito) before hiring bikes to go on a day trip around the coast. 16 miles later and we had gone over the golden gate bridge (spectacular), visited a civil war fort (think Fort Boyard without the breasts) and seen some pretty impressive houses.

People seem to be friendlier than I remember from Seattle a couple of years ago, however there was a bit of a push to get on the less-than-hourly ferry with it's bike limit of 25 and a queue of well over 50.

After getting back we wondered about the wharf a while longer before getting into a queue for a tram home. Unfortunately there was some delay and we ended up hanging around for ages. There was some entertainment provided, but most of the amusement provided since we got here has been the sound/look of other English people making themselves obvious tourists. James and I have bothe become paranoid about using the words "Cheers", "Mate" and "Ta".

Some other things of interest were that we have found that they are phasing out SubClub tickets over here, so using the standard law of physics - "Everything they get in the US we get sooner or later" means that you need to start cashing in on your free subs when you can. This is a public service announcement.

Also there was a fantastic excuse for a street performer working by the docks today. All his was doing was crouching on the pavement clutching a load of branches and posing as a bush, then jumping out on unsuspecting passers by. Amusing, but really just an excuse to scare the crap out of Chinese people.

James found a store which I was immediately warey of. Anywhere that uses that genuine old-style version of the word Shoppe is clearly worth avoiding and indeed it was. We left fairly quickly and found ourselves watching the resident sea lions on the other side of the pier. All good.

Apart from the fact that today has marked the most exercise I have probably done since I left school it has also been quite entertaining. I think there is some national obligation for everyone around here to jog (there are bloody millions of them) and federal law that they own an iPod.

Looking forward to a tour of the city tomorrow, assuming it goes ahead - we need another three people to sign up.

For anyone interested we are 9 hours behind and the movie on the plane Monster in Law was mediocre.

Comments (0)