There are certain things in life which are inherently ‘cool’. These things include, amongst others,
- being able to wear Ray-Bans and look like you came top of your class at flight school
- being able to play poker like Bond
- being able to afford the pleasure of driving a Bugatti Veyron
- being able to wolf whistle
Despite having twenty-one years of practise time, I can’t say I’m accomplished in any of these. It’s only now that I have decided to tackle my deficiencies. Enter Google.
I found a gem of an article explaining how to wolf whistle Unfortunately there are no diagrams, and the video someone has is for a different technique, which doesn’t look particularly effective. I therefore just tried to understand the article.
To sum up what is a pretty lengthy text, here is my guide how to wolf whistle. Please bear in mind I only started today, but I seem to be getting results…
- Choose a grip. For the sake of speed I’m going to pick one for you; get both your index fingers out.
- Cover your teeth with your upper and lower lips so you look like you need dentures. No teeth should remain visible.
- Insert your two fingers into your mouth, pinning your lips to your teeth (your lower lip especially). Your fingers should go in straight, but they should form a V shape (if you were looking from above). Leave a gap of about a centimetre between your finger tips.
- Press the front of your tongue against the back of your lower front row of teeth. Make sure the tip of your tongue is pointing downwards and just touching your lower, inner gum. Your tongue should be bulging upwards in the middle. Your fingertips should be resting on the front of your tongue.
- Blow.
Of course, everyone knows it’s not this easy. The article admits that it will take a while to sort it. My main struggle is my lower teeth are quite pointy directly below where my fingers go in, so they dig into my lip, but I did get a result.
Also, it is advisable to remember to breathe while practising as otherwise you will feel dizzy. Like me.
I hold no responsibility for broken computer equipment caused by you dribbling all over your laptop while attempting this.
I will be trying to improve my technique over the weekend, only taking breaks to chew on a matchstick and mix cocktails.