It worked! Apparently if you drink enough black coffee on a Sunday morning you can actually get up before 10am! After finding it excruciatingly painful to get into revision, the perseverance has paid off and I have managed to chug my way through a semester's worth of electronics and a barrel load of polymer science today.

Although these topics could bore a fat kid out of a sweetshop, progress is progress and it has put me in a much more lively mood and given me a new passion for all things stress related.

Following my lack of Good Ideas yesterday, today I found myself not encountering a few Good Discoveries. For example a Good Discovery would be looking for my Towers hoody in my pile of clothes and finding the pocket stuffed with fifties (cash). On the other hand, a Bad Discovery would be (just picking a totally random situation from the top of my head) looking for my Towers hoody and finding it laced with vomit from the other night. What a treat - it went straight in the clothes basket where it will rot until I have another chance to get to a washing machine, which unfortunately will probably be after exams. At least the smell may cover up the rest of my socks.

Swanny got his letter today. I sent it a few days back, but due to his laid back nature he didn't realise he had any post until someone else picked it out of his pigeon hole for him. I basically made up a company called Farquois Medical and dressed it up like a proper business - envelope and all. The first line was designed to make it look like he was receiving some bad news,

" I unfortunately have to inform you of some bad news following the tests on the samples you provided a few weeks back. "

Swan of course fell for these first words, but was confused by the samples part. The next line gave it away, but it all went to good effect,

"We ran extensive checks on the two samples and the results were conclusive; you have less than 0.02% bant.

We realise this may have affects on your future wellbeing and employability. For example I wouldn't employ anyone who didn't have more than 4% bant (and that would only be in exceptional circumstances).

We realise this news will probably be quite distressing, and so we provide a 24hr hotline where you can speak in total confidence that the entire office will be listening in on the conversation for an extortionate rate of �2.50 per min. The number is supplied above.

If you would like to know more about bant deficiency or meet other people who haven't got a life, feel free to go f**k yourself.

Yours sincerely,

Dr. Damien Farquois, MHPD, FRSA."

Although fast and easy, it went down well, plus the extra effort I'd gone to in posting it in a real letter box added to the effect. No one was meant to believe it (even if it is true).

The other thing is that I've managed to snap The Swan's mattress in two during a drunken fight the other night. How the hell that's possible I don't know (the room got turned upside down in the process), but it won't lie flat now. Poor old Zoe. I don't think she'll mind too much though as she's not that tall. Alternatively he could swap it with Devito's.

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